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2017 has come to an end and I'd thought now would be a good chance to summarize everything that has happen to me to fill up the time when I was MIA for 8 months.
(MIA: missing in action)
2017, was a fulfilling year for me. Despite the resolution goal I've set for myself at the start of the year to be a listless person , I've become someone who's pretty much the opposite of that, and for that, I've earned myself some new friends. My classmates are generally nice and I'm just thankful that this year wasn't as bad as I have anticipated.
Now, this is where things start to get a bit personal. If you read some of my previous entries, you should know that I don't usually talk about my personal life. Even if i did, It's probably just a scratch on the surface. I don't lead a deep and dark life and mask everything I blog, if that's what you're wondering. But having my thoughts lay out for the public to read is a pretty big thing for me so proceed reading with much consideration and do not ask me about it if i don't it bring up. (Pls bear with my grammar mistakes , I know its bad. )
The reason why I said that I anticipated this year to be a bad one was because I left my friends(that's another story) which lead me to due with everything by myself. I've became this bubbly girl who interacts with everyone to compensate my lack of friends. But sometimes, it wasn't enough. I often find myself getting anxious over the thought of pair works. I looked around me and I can't help but feel incredibly jealous. I was surrounded with friends yet I can't call them my own.
One day, I was send to a counsellor to fix myself, not that i have any major problems like self harm , suicidal thoughts , or anything too serious. But the school has a history of having student committing suicide this recently (he happens to be in the same stream as i as well) So with that, i was seen as someones who's vulnerable to his very fate. (Although I wouldn't try to kill myself this early of age) I wouldn't say that the counselling session has tremendously help me but it did let me get some stuff off my chest. I managed to pull through the year somehow.
I must say , 2017 was relatively a smooth journey ,other than having a few bumps on the road which occasionally led me astray, but at the same time I've grown to be a more independent person and it's honestly my greatest achievement so far considering how I've always been heavily relying on my friends. I'm also thankful for the people who have been accepting of me throughout the year, making me feel more at ease coming to school without feeling anxious.
I'll definitely miss my secondary school life, as well as the good and bad memories I've had. Bad memories, because they taught me a valuable lesson which will always come useful in the near future. Good memories, because they taught me to appreciate life and made me realized that my life isn't just an infinite plane of monotonous.
(I've never really got the habit of properly ending my blog post but I'll make an exception for this one)
This year would probably be a very special year for me and for most of my friends too, because it's finally that time of the year where we start a totally new year with new people in a new school. Though the idea of meeting new people sounds pretty tiresome to my introvert self. But It's a good change if you'd like to start over. I'll end my post here , and hopefully I'll be more active from now on.
Love is a game
So I had this friend , let's call her Jenna, so Jenna had recently broke up with her boyfriend . She found out he was cheating on her. I won't go in to detail with the cliche bits cause we all know too well how this would go . Knowing Jenna , she wasn't all that affected by the break up despite being one of her longest relationship . I asked her why's that and she told me that there is no point holding on to something that you know it won't be yours . To be very honest , I don't quite agree with her . Though she did made a good point .
But here's the thing , I don't think Jenna has ever been truly in love with a guy before . She's the type of person that will get what she wants , and she pretty much got herself multiple cheap love with her looks . What do I mean by "cheap love" ? It means to obtain someone without much effort or knowing full well that particular someone is bound to be yours . She skipped the whole friends to crush thing . she went from stranger to lover then back to stranger .
Nobody can ever explain to you how actual love feels like unless you feel it yourself . But let me tell you , once you love someone unconditionally and whole heartedly , you'll never find the same feeling in someone else . Though it's such a pity that someone that you love so unconditionally wants to delete you from their life . But that's what makes love last , because it's hard to find someone that you love so much to feel the same way as you do .
most of us skip the crush bit as we hate to go through the painful process of knowing there's a possibility of getting rejected . So instead we find someone just like us who ,too, is afraid of rejection and use that as a safety pin .
Love is a game ,
You either win or lose
A game that only wins
Is a lousy game
Today my friends and I went to cat cafe to distress ourselves from schools and stuff. Most of the cats does not like to be touch , and they were rather peaceful and quiet creatures . One of the cats even tried to escape by lunging towards the door and hang on to it . It was quite a rare sight . Cats are such vicious creatures yet i love them unconditionally , almost as though they are controlling the mind of the human mind to bow down to them . It makes me sort of jealous of their care free life . Just eat,sleep and be cute . They are pretty anti-social creatures and they hissed at other cats. But when you try to touch their toe bean , its squishy and soft . So much so that, i couldn't care less about their anti social attitude . I love cats and my love for them meets no ends . I wanna visit dog cafe some day as well :P
Camp was fun . Way better than last year . Though it was hella tiring but damn it was fun . ( all names mentioned down below are replaced with fake names for the purpose of their privacy thou i don't really care but i just don't want my friends reading this to know who they are )
Day 1We didn't do much on day 1 .we folded paper plane and challenged each other into flying the furthest distance.
Afterward , we had master class . Our teachers gave us some study tips and techniques to help us score well for our O level. Truthfully speaking , it was really boring .
Day 2Day 2 and 3 was the main event of the camp .We had kayaking at the reservoir .
(FYI: reservoir is pronounced as Re-Ser-Vuar)
Our objectives is to pick up as much litters as you can find . I got paired up with banana(obv not his real name). Banana and I found quite a bit of trash .It felt like treasure hunting but instead of golds and diamonds we found contraceptive pills and sanitary pads.I even saw an otter and It was so cuteeee , its little teeny weeny head bopped out of the water for a second and I managed to get a glimpse of it before it sinks down.
We were told not to play around but being a rebellious sec 5s we are , we used our paddle and splash each other with water of god knows whats in it. I had lots of fun chasing down my friend who so badly didn't favor the idea of getting wet. I got sun burned from kayaking , damn do i regret now for not putting sunscreen earlier on . I never thought I'd ever get sunburn but I was proved wrong . Gawd, you should have seen how define my tan line was.
when we were ready to set off to our school after our lunch .I GOT FRIKKIN BIRD POOPED ON WHEN I WAS STANDING UNDER A SHELTER , WHAT ARE THE FRIKKIN ODDS ?Mannn , I'm pissed .
Day 3Day 3 was The BOMB of the camp. We had an amazing race and it truly was amazing indeed as compared to last year , it was more like a-not-so-mazing race . We were divided into groups and each groups were given task to do , the task also gives us hints as to where we will be going for our next task . Everyone was feeling up for the challenge which made it more exciting . We bonded quite a bit , esp me and Jess since we rarely talk ever since the Jamie incident .The teacher in charged of my group ,Mr Ronald, got clash in between the train doors cause we were indecisive weather we should alight or not.Damn it looked painful but he's good. One of our task was to dance for a minute (in public ) as a group and fml did I feel so humiliated , but I did had fun.
The best part was seeing other groups in the same destination as us , feeling the pressure of wanting to solve the puzzle as quickly as possible to get ahead of them . Running across the mrt station cause we competitive asf , mocking other groups cause we solved the puzzle first ( for a good cause) .
We slacked at a playground for quite a bit , even though we prob knew we are going to come in last for the race .
All the groups ended off with their last destination at Sentosa. The last task was to find our teacher,Mdm Geog.I think we were the last group to find her (or the 2nd last) since we spend too much time at the playground
Afterward ,we set off to the obstacle course (man I didn't even know we were doing this until that day when Patrick mentioned about it )As the name suggest . We had to cross over some obstacle ( like high elements obstacles, rock climbing , free falling etc) and girl let me tell you , I had a blasttttt ! There were 3 level for the high elements obstacles course and most of us were up for the challenge to go for level 3 .
So yea I squeezed my way through to the front to get a better view of the elements . And let me tell you , once you move forward there's no turning back . When it was my turn , I walked on the thin rope with such confidence that I thought it was gona be as easy as A B C , Mann was I so wrong ,the obstacles only gets harder and harder as it goes . I was crying internally and was shaking so much. But thankfully I have some really supportive classmates/friends who supported me . I managed to get through all the obstacles in one piece .
Rock climbing was the hardest , which requires lots of upper body strength
We ended off the camp with a BBQ In school .At that point I just wanted to go home because I was feeling so lethargic . While everyone is helping out with the BBQ , I sat down and rest my head on my arms . I tried to sleep but I was feeling so sticky that i couldn't . I waited for food to be ready but
didn't ate much ,eventhou I didn't had any proper meal the entire day but I simply just didn't feel hungry . I was feeling irritated , sad,happy but mostly just tired .
Overall, it was fun a fun experience . Thou I would really love to show you guys just how scary the obstacle course were but sadly I didn't had my phone with me nor did I thought of taking pics .
You might be wondering whats up with that pose over there of the pic on the right . I was trying to get a clear shot of my my sun burned face so don't mind the awkward angle :b
( I looked drunk asf thou)
Happy (not so) Chinese New Year
As a chinese , I have no idea what I'm suppose to do and what I'm not suppose to do , It's not like my parents didn't tell me but I just thought It doesn't really matter? I dont take note of these little details and I end up asking my parents every year what to do . For example , you're suppose to say some chinese phrase when someone gives a red packet but I jus awkwardly took them and say Umm ok thx? ._. which made me sound a lil rude . I don't even take note when is CNY and when it ends ffs am i living under a well or what ? I'm pretty sure i'll end up forgetting next year and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that.
Anyway , it's been 2 months and I have not blog about my life, i would blame it on school but really i'm just hella lazy . Anyway , school has been alright so far , I have great classmates and teachers. I wasn't able to fulfill my new year resolution of becoming invisible.
As for CNY celebration , I didn't visit any of my relatives so that's good ! more time for myself . But then that means my parents will drag me into going crowded places for like the 10th times this year .I'd rather stay at home , in the comfort of my own room, with a book in hand and a nice comfy bed THATS ALL. But my parent thinks my social well being will be ruined if I stay at home all the time.
In a nutshell , Cny was boring , but I like boring so I guess I had a great new year this year
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)
|The look of jealousy on my face is real xD|