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His not the one
So recently, I've broke up with my boyfriend cause I found out he was sort of "cheating " on me and till now i'm still not over it. Honestly like as if seeing your bf with another girl wasn't bad enough, but acknowledging the fact that my bf doesn't give a single shit about our relationship at all makes me even sadder, to add on, she is way prettier than me, skinnier than me etc .. Knowing how my bf can "fall in love" so easily I knew that he already had his eyes on her , imagining your bf with another girl fucking struck me so hard .. though I kindof knew that we wouldn't last long but there's something about him that made me wanna give us a chance , now because of my selfishness, I've put myself into so much pain that could have been easily avoided in the first place . I don't think I did anything wrong..he just stop loving me and I can't do anything about it , I can't force him to like me , cause that's not how love works .
2 times we quarreled , and 2 times i give in to him . I didn't do anything wrong, I didn't even argued back because I cherish our relationship . I even put down my pride as a woman to make u stay . Something that every girl shouldn't be treated as, I give it to you . In the end what's every guys favorite phrase ? "I don't like you anymore" with that simple phrase , you can get out of explaining whole loads of bullshit into just one simple sentence . But one thing about me is , you don't play with my feelings, cause if you do , Í don't know what I'll do..I even thought of killing you . I know it seems like I'm all talk but no action but trust me , i'm capable of that . I can think of a way to make your death seems like an accident. People think I'm crazy , but nobody , NOBODY, FUCK WITH MY FEELINGS.
But after, I've calm down abit, I've started missing you instead. I miss texting you and I miss your scent , I miss a lot of things .
The only comfort i can salvage from was the cat plushie that you gave me .
So like a few weeks back, there was an event called cosfest held in downtown east and if you don't know what it is , is pratically where people goes there to cosplay or to take photo with cosplayer or you could just go there to buy merchandise or something . Haha , so my friend and I have decided to cosplay because cosplaying seems like fun and stuff SOOO yea..sadly I've only saved up enough for one one cosplay outfit cause cosplay costume are so EFFING EX !!they cost me like 100$plus jus the costume it self and about 30$ on contact lens, wig cap, some makeup stuff and shipping fee and taxes..etc but my friend lend me a maid outfit ( it was like a last minute thing ) because initially on second day I'm suppose to cos as kuroko from kuroko no basket so I've bought my binders with me ..OKAY so I've cosplay as shiro from no game no life on the first day and random maid character from no anime on second day ..PICTURE TIME!!
So there will be another event like next month in August and I've already prepared what I'm going to cos as :D
Let me tell you an embarrassing story , it was on the last day of cosfest and I was on my way home after it ended , I boarded the bus and say the very back next to the window and I was just so exhausted that I fell asleep and after like 45min or so I felt very warm and it feels kindof quiet ..so when I open my eyes , the bus was pitch black and there was no one at the bus AT ALL! I panicked and started tapping the window and luckily the bus driver weren't too far away ,THANK GOD . So yea.. Overall it was really an memorable day to remember and to look back with no regrets ..Eventhough my friend did get my fame then I did .. :c but hey! It's still worth it
My Montone Routine
I realized I wasn't really happy with my life , or maybe it was just my monotones routine I've been trying to keep up. I feel like I'm a robot , being programmed to do what I knew was ahead of me . I think all my friends think I'm a boring person as well , thus nothing will breakout from my monotone routine, it's almost seems like it's indestructible. I analyzed my routine and try to figure out , what is it I'm not happy with ? Now , if you think I'm depressed or sad , no I'm not . In fact, I don't feel anything. Nothing at all . Now with that being said, sit back and enjoy my ever-so-boring adventure .
I started off waking up at 6am , I don't actually wake up but I just set it at 6am to remind myself its morning , If you're an iPhone user you should probably know that your phone start ringing after 8 min each time you snooze , it gets hella annoying . The actual time that I wake up is 6.30am , but wait , does that count as waking up if I just lay in my bed with my eye closed ? idk . Then probably the official time that I wake up is 6.45am , people would usually start off their day by washing up first right ? I started off changing my clothes first , probably the closes thing to my bed that's why . I know, I know , you clean freaks can just BACK OFF , ain't nobody got time to bathe . Okay after I've changed to my unwashed uniform , and done with my grooming, I proceed to brush my teeth , sometimes while doing that , the mirror in front of me looks like a disgusting disaster . I then proceed off to school, I pop my earpiece and listen to the music that I've probably listened to ,a gazillion times already . And then , while waiting for the LRT , I would see that jerk face loser standing there(my ex) . Ugh!Is either I wake up extra early or extra late to not bump into him but NOOOOO, HE JUST GOTTA MAKE TIME TO FIT IN TO MY ROUTNE, well the good thing about Monday is that he takes bus to school THANK GOD YOU DON'T RUIN MY MORNING AT THE START OF THE WEEK OF SCHOOL. The LRT always took longer than it's suppose to whenever that jerk face board the train. I'll always be the one dashing out of the train making it seems like I'm late for school but actually I just want to get away from him as far as possible. After walking for about 10min , I've finally reached the back gate of the school , and the student leader will be there to greet everyone "Good morning". Yeahhh "GOOD" morning to you too , ugh . Something about coming to school early , is that I've always got to wait for someone to sit at the front , while waiting, I'll just sit at the canteen and read my book , though I seem like a bookworm or a twilight fan , but really , I just don't want to be seen as a loner besides , there's nothing else to do anyways . I don't have a lot of close friends that I can just approach to and talk to them . It's just...nothing I can do . After the regular people have sat at the front , I would proceed to sit behind them . I would also try to observe for my crush , probably the tiniest tiny weeny reason to look forward to school, sometimes if I saw him , it could probably brighten my day for awhile , but when I don't it's just another boring ass day . His from express and I'm normal , we don't really clash together that much..But that's okay .. having a crush is just something I cling on to , to looked forward . Though I don't expect him to look at my way but it's all perfectly fine .hahaha. At about 7.29am they will play this annoying marching song , for students to hurry up and go to their classes , and if you aren't sited when the song stops , you'd probably got to do school service . And then the same old thing, singing the National Anthem and residing the school pledge , boring stuff , and then announcement, and then finally LESSONS. ugh. Something about lesson is that it doesn't actually goes in my head, and I just feel like it's a waste of time , and it's not because I don't pay attention in class, I do , but sometimes , when you're forced to study something you have no interest in , its just doesn't go into my head . Some teachers tried to make the lessons fun , but sometimes it just makes it worse as that means , group work , the thing I hate the most. And probably the class would make tons of noise and they will just be talking to their friends and at the end of the day, no one is listening . After what seems like an eternity, its recess ,a break from reality and sink into the world of twilight , it was the only crumb of comfort I could salvage from. When you enter the library, on your right , is an old hag Liberian that nobody is fond of, but if your just reading a book by yourself she can't possibly pint point you about anything, which is why I enjoy going to the library. There's no rule saying I can't go to the library , if she doesn't enjoy my presence , then that's too bad. After the bell had rung , I will need to proceed back to class, I would dwell to go back to class if it was math lesson , though I personally kind of enjoy math and I must say I did pretty well for my Mid-Year Exam for math , FYI, I got 70 ..not really boasting about it but just a sense of achievement . BUT what makes me hate going to math class was the teacher , she has a bit crazy side of her that just I can't really put my thoughts into concrete words , maybe the way she teach is like how people were used to be taught in the 80's , maybe that's why we find her crazy due to the generation gap . On the side view , our class are doing generally well for math as we are just too scared of her . Hahaha strict always got their way of making their students do well , Way to go strict teacher ! I must be high on drugs to even say that . English and Chinese class aren't that bad , reasons being is because they are lenient , which is not good..I do enjoy presence but sometimes they can't really teach , and...nothing goes inside my head at the end of the day . Sometimes I can just feel that they are disappointed in us but they are not telling us , especially my English teacher , he always walks in with a sigh , and his eyes says it all , he then walks out of the class without greeting the us goodbye , it's too obvious that he is disappointed in us for anyone to not notice . Physic and Chemistry was alright .. though chemistry was quite brain tearing as I don't understand how does the formula works and stuff and I'm just too scared to ask. The teachers are generally OK , not too strict and not too lenient , somewhere around the boarder line . I was going to continue with other subject but I think that's not the point of this post here, ok so where was I , oh right.. recess . Okay so after recess , it would be lessons all the way till around 1.45pm then we will be having our lunch, unfortunately , the library doesn't open for lunch so I'll would go to my friend's class, I don't usually eat but I honestly miss going to the canteen cause it was the only way I would get to see my crush BUT that means I might risk the chance of seeing jerk face loser at the canteen , and I might have to sit at the same table as he does UGHH DAMN YOU , after lunch we will proceed to lessons all the way till 3.30pm . AND FINALLY , AFTER DECADES, IM HEADING HOME ! YEAH ! I don't really enjoy going home with friends ( Unless your so darn close to me ) If not I would prefer to walk home alone with my earpiece on and just enjoy the moment of not being in class with boring teacher teaching boring stuff .If I'm not too tired I might bathe if not i'll just fix myself some lunch and eat while watching anime or one of Pewdiepie video, after I watch a video , I always have the tendency to watch another one, then another one and it goes on I'm till I'm exhausted and I 'll take a nap . Then, I would wake up to a dark-greyish blue sky and I was like " Is it morning already? " OR in another case my mum would come bursting through my door screaming to my ear to get up , why ? she HATES it when I take a nap =_= she thinks that I would not be able to sleep at night, and i'll exhausted the next day.. after I woke up from my nap , I would eat my dinner and watch more videos. Until about 10pm -11pm , I'll just rush through on my homework , after I finished I would just watch more videos or used my phone, last time when I was still a gaming addict , instead of watching video I would play lol instead, but I actually quit gaming as I thought it might potentially ruin my future, and I watched videos to replace the urge to game . At about 3am I would brush my teeth and changed then i'll sleep . And then the routine continues .
End of June Holiday
So finally , after 1 month of mentally and physically break from school , it finally come to an end . So what have I done ? Well, I've been buying and selling stuff on carousell lately , since I have so much time on my hands , I've travelled across Singapore just to get my item , and here's some picture of what I've bought
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)