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I can relate to this .. and I happen to be Leo so maybe that explains (?)
Anyway, I had a group of lovely bunch that are always full of positivity. We laughed and made stupid lame jokes . They are wonderful people no doubt but I can't help but feel like the black sheep of the group . There are days where I just can't keep up with their amount of enthusiasm and high spirit that it just made me really tired , mentally and physically .
I've became really distanced from the group , broke down most of the days where I'm alone .. sometimes even using toilet as an excuse to just cry myself to numbness . It was a horrible mess that started out because I felt lonely despite having friends
One day, I left the group . Without a word and with questions hanging which no one ever brought up since then .
It's not their fault and I don't blame them . Instead, I blame myself for feeling this way . Guess that didn't bother them , they didn't care enough to ask me why ..so I guess that's that .
New Year Resolution 2017
New year , new me yea yea all that stuff..we all know how this goes. it seems like as I grow older, I feel like new year is just another day for me, and maybe because how i've been pretty unproductive lately. It brings down my spirit as a person to feel all festive and stuff. I've been binging on anime and just lay around right after I came back from overseas . Though I would like to say this is by far one of my most productive school holidays of all my sec/pri school life. Partly because instead of rotting at home , I'm actually out there making actual money and no we're not talking about monopoly but real money . Working def did take a toll on me since i'm not a very outspoken person but due to work I have to which kills me internally(i'll talk more about it on another post)
Just like any other year, I'll make a list of new year resolution.
Being ListlessOkay, so what exactly is listless?
adjective. 1. having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless; indifferent: a listless mood; a listless handshake. Origin of listless Expand.
And don't confuse this with being emo or super hyper introvert mode on or anything. I've come to realised 2016 have been a really emotional roller coaster ride for me , I don't hate it but I don't like it either . I became super affected by little things in life which really took a toll on my studies. There's no way to express this animosity in words . Anyways in conclusion, I'm jumping into another battle of life which requires me to evolve my human skills to be immune to feelings .
Simplicity at its BestThis was something I hesitated doing, but after much comtemplation , its for the best . Like I said 2016 have been an emotional ride and im in it for another round this year . I'm not sure if i could handle anymore of those heatbreaks anymore so I thought I try to keep my life as simple as possible . This comes with a few cons and pros
-You don't gain much attention (lesser drama ->lesser tears)
-You don't have to struggle making decision what to wear when you go out (a plain tee and a skirt/pants is good to go ->time-saving)
-You're room is def gonna look bigger and cleaner after clearing out things that you don't need (that means you don't pile shyts on your table or whatever -> easier to clean)
- you're creativity goes down ( you'll be a really boringgg person)
- you won't live a life to its full potential (unless you're content with your life then thats fine)
- you're probably down for a maximum of 2 friends at max ( which isn't really a con for me but i just wanna state it down in case it is for some people )
Of course the Pros and Cons are just base on my opinion, it's not necessarily true .
Yea that's pretty much it , to sum up everything in case you still have no idea what i'm talking about ...all i can say is..I want to be a sloth
Happy new year! :)
I'll write whatever I want , go ahead and judge me however you like BUT negative comments will not be tolerated :)